Your Essay Is A Delightful Symphony Of Grammatical Errors
When feedback is infected with AI
Before the rise of our AI overlords our impending digital dominion might experience a few comedic glitches along the way.
Ever since I realised that Copilot could complete my student’s coding challenges in seconds, I’ve been waiting for the AI takeover:
I’ve imagined school inspectors taking advantage of AI tools to write school inspection reports. I mean, there must be an element of tact required when formally expressing concern about the discovery that all the naughty kids had been locked in a cupboard:
Dear Principal,
I am writing to report on my recent inspection of your school. During my visit, I made a surprising discovery while conducting a routine check of the classrooms. While inspecting one of the classrooms, I noticed that the door to a cupboard located in the back of the room was slightly ajar. Upon further investigation, I discovered that several students who had been causing disciplinary issues had been hidden inside the cupboard.
This is a serious breach of school policy and a clear violation of the students’ rights. It is never acceptable to hide students, or any individuals, in a cupboard or any other confined space. Not only is this practice inhumane, but it also puts the students at risk of harm.
I strongly recommend that you take immediate action to address this issue and ensure that it does not happen again. It is crucial that all students are treated with respect and dignity, and that their safety and well-being are prioritized at all times.
Please let me know what steps you will be taking to address this matter and prevent similar incidents from occurring in the future.
Sincerely,
[Inspector’s Name]
I have also imagined a world where AI secretly manages your email. The person who first discovers this is hailed as a tech genius, only to be later exposed as a fraud in a golf course car park:
AI powered praise sandwiches (even when the filling is sparse)
Most educators know that good feedback is key to student progression. When it is done well the learner has a clear idea of what their next steps are and how to achieve them. Of course you also need to manage the self-esteem of the individual and keep them positive about their achievements.
The worship of ‘Yet’ as an ideal is not new, but it has intensified recently. Like teachers have never thought all by themselves to tell students to “Keep going!” Jeez, we now know there must be something to it because Caroline Dweck has used words like ‘synaptic plasticity’ to explain her notion of the ‘growth mindset’.
What about when the work is so poor or effort is so low that it is hard to find the bread in the praise sandwich? Perhaps this is when AI can take the lead with some clumsily misplaced humour to soften the impact of negative feedback.
The One Sentence Student
“Give me witty feedback in the form of a praise sandwich for a student who has written only one sentence all lesson.”
“Your single sentence, a masterpiece of minimalism, speaks volumes about your ability to conserve ink and paper. While a more verbose student might have filled pages with their insights, you have masterfully captured the essence of the lesson in a single, solitary line. Truly, you are a paragon of efficiency.”
The Thousand Sentence Student
“Give me a praise sandwich for a student who writes four sides of A4 with barely any punctuation or paragraphing.”
“Your essay, a veritable stream of consciousness, poured forth from your pen with the unrestrained energy of a runaway train. Your delightful symphony of grammatical errors and complete disregard for traditional paragraphing truly make your work a one-of-a-kind masterpiece. While some might quibble over the lack of punctuation or coherence, your sheer audacity in ignoring such trivial conventions is nothing short of awe-inspiring.”
The Student With The Secret Browser Tab
“Give me a praise sandwich for the student who spent 30 seconds pasting an article from Wikipedia into their OneNote page then spent the rest of the time trying to blast Bollywood beats from a soundboard tab in their browser.”
“Your technological prowess in seamlessly integrating Wikipedia and Bollywood soundtracks into a single learning experience is truly innovative. While your classmates may have been distracted by the rhythmic beats emanating from your device and your selfish actions have disrupted the class and hindered everyone’s ability to focus, your unwavering commitment to irritating everyone around you with loud world music with no context is admirable. Perhaps next time, a more subtle approach to auditory disruption would allow everyone to fully appreciate the nuances of the lesson and ensure that your disruptive behaviour does not drag the class average down.”
The Student Who Misuses Their Toilet Pass
“Give me a praise sandwich for a student who has little more than a title and date in their book every day because every time new information is introduced or the work gets a tiny bit tricky they pull out their toilet pass which they never do in PE or on a school trip.”
“Your meticulous attention to detail in ensuring your book is properly titled and dated demonstrates an admirable sense of organisation. While your frequent bathroom breaks may indicate a keen interest in maintaining personal hygiene during challenging academic moments (a dedication notably absent during PE or school trips), perhaps a more focused approach to classroom participation could allow you to fully engage with the lesson material and contribute your unique insights to the discussion, should you ever be present for them.”
The Kid Who Never Reads Feedback
“Give me a praise sandwich for a kid who never reads feedback anyway, so fill it with nonsense to check whether it has actually been read. Hide a secret challenge in it to prove they’ve read it.”
“Your work consistently displays a kaleidoscopic array of antidisestablishmentarian sentiments, a testament to your sesquipedalian vocabulary. While your penmanship occasionally resembles the meanderings of a caffeinated spider monkey, your innovative use of punctuation (or lack thereof) is truly avant-garde. To further showcase your unparalleled brilliance, please include a hand-drawn portrait of a platypus wearing a monocle in the margin of your next assignment.”
“Please include a hand-drawn portrait of a platypus wearing a monocle in the margin of your next assignment.”
If this doodle appears in next week’s exercise book, miracles truly do happen.
I don’t know if this is what they mean when they say AI can reduce teacher workload. In fact, I fear it may well be a race to the bottom when both teacher and student attack their work with AI, without any mental effort taking place at all.
“Mindless mediocrity awaits us all.”